I somehow, unintentionally, found myself in a relationship. I don’t fully know how it happened.
We met, we clicked. We spent time together, we took our kids out for a picnic, I met his parents for lunch… I found myself with a boyfriend. Not just a boyfriend but a lovely one. A tall, charming, funny, geeky, smart, sexy, successful boyfriend. A boyfriend who adored me, adored my daughter, and who felt like he had always been in our lives.
But I wasn’t ready. He had been single for two years, he was ready. I am still married, I am still experiencing and enjoying freedom. I am not ready.
He is a ridiculously successful 30 year old who travels the world and is incredibly well respected in his industry. He is ambitious, he is driven, and he doesn’t compromise. He works hard to get what he wants from life. These are sexy qualities, I found his determination and attitude attractive. I allowed him to utterly sweep me away and, as what he wanted was me, he got what he wanted. But he got what he wanted immediately. Immediately.
The problem is I realised it was all too soon. Too much. I’m still married, I’m fresh out of a relationship, I’m just not ready. Not ready at all.
I think he could sense it. He is out of the country for the majority of the week and became increasingly anxious about the state of our relationship. His personality does not cope with that, and mine doesn’t cope with the worries.
It ended. We decided that we needed some time. I’m gutted. Genuinely gutted.
The Accidental Boyfriend was everything I wanted from a life partner, just too soon.
Next time I will be more cautious. I will hold back, not allow myself to be swept away by romance and charm. I will not forget who I am and where I am in my own frame of mind.
Perhaps in a while The Accidental Boyfriend will come back into my life and become an intended boyfriend. Because he’s bloody perfect for me in so many ways. Just not yet.