The dating field is flooded by single parents. Once you get to an age where you are browsing those around the age of 30 for potential dating fodder you find the question “So, do you have any kids?” comes up regularly.
A lot of single parents have found that answering “yes” to that question turns people off instantly. A friend reported that time after time she would engage in an interesting and stimulating conversation with a person on Tinder, only to reveal she is a mother of three, then to never hear from them again. A male friend arranged an incredible romantic dinner for a woman, who by all accounts had an amazing time, but then on the following date he revealed he is a father and she too pulled a disappearing act.
So, why date a parent? There are lots of reasons.
As a mum I have found new depths of patience and acceptance than I ever imagined. People make mistakes, but you don’t stop loving them. People are not perfect, but you don’t stop loving them.
I am not saying that parents will let you walk all over them or do awful things. However, when you are used to dealing with a tantrumming toddler who insisted on throwing her Weetabix all over the floor before screaming at you, a man squeezing the toothpaste at the wrong end becomes something of a none issue.
A single parent has had to find an inner strength enough to handle the rolls of two. Being both mum and dad, and not having the emotional support and affection that comes with a partnership, causes you to toughen up. You HAVE to be strong because if you aren’t strong the pressure will destroy you. Yes, you struggle, but you still do it. Every day, day in day out, you do it.
If you like weak people then this point doesn’t count, but a lot of people like someone who is strong in mind, and knows how to cope with life. A single parent is those things.
Parents are fun. Well, most are. When you spend a lot of time with a child you have to let down some of your barriers and be goofy. Have pillow fights, chase pigeons, and scream at the top of a high slide. If you’re lucky you won’t lose that sense of fun just because your child is in bed or with a babysitter. That fun, that willingness to laugh at yourself, is attractive. A fun person, someone who laughs, is always more pleasurable to be around.
A parent has imagination. We have to find exciting things to do when it is raining outside, the toys are no longer exciting, and the TV is boring. We have to find ways of entertaining toddlers at 5am, before Cbeebies has started, and when we are so tired we can’t focus on where the button to turn the kettle on is.
When a person has imagination that can be applied to everything. To dates, to conversations, and to exciting bedroom related activities. A creative mind is an exciting mind.
Since having Miss Rose I am more aware of my body than I have ever been. Yes it has changed, and it is marked heavily with evidence of pregnancy, but it is pretty damn amazing. My body made, grew, and delivered a whole human being! Not only a human being, but a freaking amazing one. I have found a new confidence in my body. I have learned about it. Because of that, sex is improved. I have found that accepting and loving my body makes everything feel better.
6) Our kids
Single parents have something pretty damn special. Their kids. Miss Rose and I come as a package and we are an amazing one. I’m not looking for a new father for her, but anyone who gets to spend any time in her company is very lucky. Because she is brilliant.
If you meet someone and they have a child or children, don’t rule them out. Maybe it counts as baggage, and maybe it makes us more difficult to get close to, but when you manage it you get something special. You get someone special.