I have discovered that many men seem to assume that because I’m a single mum, I’m desperate. Not just desperate… But desperate with absolutely no standards. I’ll just take anything going that’s offered. After all… I’m a single mum. Who else would want me?

Cheeky sods.

For instance… I hadn’t heard from an ex boyfriend in several years. He and I had been friends before we got together, and were chatty and friendly after we split up, but had drifted apart over time. He found out I’m single again. And sent me a photograph of his penis.

As you do.

Obviously I don’t need any warming up, I don’t need any chatting to, no wining or dining, no flirtation. Just penis. That’s all I’m after. Hello there penis, let me mount you!


Why do men think we women are that keen on them anyway? I mean don’t get me wrong, they have their sure, and when applied correctly they can be rather fabulous. But they don’t look great. We look at the beautiful man, the smile, the arms, the eyes, the bum… We make use of the penis for its practical purposes. I don’t think I have ever been in a conversation with a female friend where she discusses a hot bloke and says “he has the most luscious penis”.

So, boys, please bare something in mind. We single mums have experience. We have also been wronged some how, or we wouldn’t be single mums. That means that, if anything, our standards are higher. We don’t want substandard merchandise anymore. We don’t want someone who is less than we deserve because we’ve had it. We’ve been there, done that, and now we are ready for quality. I’m sure you are extremely proud of that little guy, and I’m sure he makes you feel great, but we truly require more from a potential lover than a shot of your helmet and a winking emoticon.


About J.J. Barnes

Author of The Lilly Prospero Series Writer and Podcaster at Blogger at Rose And Mum And More Contributor to The Huffington Post
This entry was posted in Love and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Desperate?

  1. jodiebloomer says:

    Lol! The cheek! I had an ex from school get in touch just over a month ago, he had found out I was single. We chatted a bit via text etc. Chatted about why I’m single and about his girlfriend and children. He then went on to ask if he could come over to”warm me up” as i “must be lonely and horny”, I reminded him that Arnie had cheated on me and what I thought of cheats and liars and I haven’t heard from him since!
    Why do they insist on thinking with their hugely unattractive penises?

  2. bamboozled1 says:

    i havent had the pleasure of this just yet… but i expect it will happen at some point… i hadnt thought a whole lot about it… but now i know what im going to do…

    im going to send them back…

    a picture of a bigger penis.


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