The Gym

My friend Abi and I decided we needed to go to the gym. We go to the building itself regularly, Miss Rose and I swim every day, but the actual gym floor with the big scary equipment, and serious Lycra clad people is terrifying.

Let’s conquer our fears and conquer the gym! We want to make sure we look good naked! Huzzah! All for one and one for all!

The sight of the two of us giggling nervously in the entrance prompted a personal trainer to ask us if we were lost.

He took pity on us and set us up on a treadmill, where we listened to music and gossiped whilst ambling at a comfortable speed, then on a cross trainer, where we listened to music and gossiped whilst cavorting at a comfortable speed, then on a static bike… Where we listened to music and gossiped whilst pedalling at a comfortable speed.

Then we went to go to another leisurely piece of equipment when another personal trainer, Captain Hotstuff, collared us to teach us floor exercises. What followed what quite the most ridiculous display of girlish giggling, bottom ogling, and screeches of horror. He had us lunging and squatting and bending into positions generally associated with pornography, and at one point told me I was going to deep which sent me into fits of hysterical laughter that hurt my sides more than the exercises.

The man is just insanely hot. All big arms and blue eyes and a bum so firm and tight he could pick up a credit card from the floor with it. Quite honestly how we got through any of the exercises is a wonder. Especially on the piece of equipment made up of various straps and handles that we referred to as a sex swing. Either to his amusement or irritation… It was hard to tell.

We might go again, I think I’d like to, but there’s no way I’m doing all the sex position exercises on my own. I need someone with me so we can acknowledge how ridiculous we look with humour. Everyone else there was so serious!

I hope that the exercise and confidence I gain will boost my confidence, boost my self esteem. I want to look good naked because I want someone to enjoy looking at me naked! And I hope that when I go to the gym that Captain Hotstuff doesn’t mind us ogling at him from the safety of the slowly moving treadmill in the corner.


About J.J. Barnes

Author of The Lilly Prospero Series Writer and Podcaster at Blogger at Rose And Mum And More Contributor to The Huffington Post
This entry was posted in Body Image and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Gym

  1. jodiebloomer says:

    You do make me laugh! Love your blogs. X

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